In this article, you will find some useful hints and tips to help decrease usage of pornography. If you are beginning to feel that you have an addictive pattern or compulsive behaviours around watching porn, get in touch to find out how my sessions can help you. I’ve helped many clients decrease or even stop using pornography. If you are interested in finding out how to stop using pornography, use the tips below.
The tips below can be a great way to begin your journey to feeling more in control of this area of your life. So let’s get to the tips to help you reduce or stop watching porn.
How to stop watching porn tips
One. Understand that you’re not alone.
I think it’s fair to say that pornography is extremely to find these day. Gone are the day of going to a seedy bookstore or embarrassingly asking at the newsagents. Now the internet has so many sites for so many different types of pornography. It’s important to remember that though, when you look at porn, you may do this alone. However in terms of having a concerns about your behaviours around porn usage, you are certainly not alone. Many share your worries.
Believe me that there are many other men who were going through something similar to you. Sex and pornography often involve shame. Shame and feeling embarrassment will often mean that we are alone and we can feel very alone with what we are struggling with. There are in fact several famous people, for example, Russell Brand, or the actor, Terry crews, who have overcome pornography addiction. Sometimes when you hear other people’s stories that can be a very empowering experience. You can more easily see that, not only is it that you’re not alone, but you will overcome this.
Also shame is something that’s very important to think about. Shame can often come from our upbringing, schooling, and general culture. Yes, sex and pornography are talked about more in the media and on television but there’s still a lot of shame around its usage or talking about it.
Two. Ensure you have a good internet filter
As with many things, it’s hard to achieve this on your own. So it’s good to set up strategies and mechanisms to help you stop watching porn. One important idea that people consider is the installing of a filter on the computer to ensure that certain websites are blocked. You can do a quick search online and see what sort of accountability programs or software you can use. And of course, it’s important to remember to use this on your phone, tablet, laptop, or television, wherever you feel t may be important to use it.
Often the software will involve setting up a password. It may be wise to hide the password away somewhere or better still to give it to somebody else. This will help ensure you do not know it. Then you can’t, during a fit of weakness, remove the password. Filters are a common way people solve how to stop watching porn.
Three. Find an accountability partner
There are many types of addiction programmes out there. You may have heard of the 12 step programme approach. This is based on the alcoholics anonymous model. When you attend sex addicts anonymous, you will meet there also people that have a concern about pornography addiction. Part of the philosophy of the 12 steps is to have accountability. This normally would mean having a sponsor, or at least people that you can check in with. Accountability structures are a great way to stop watching porn. Together with your sponsor, you might set goals or talk through struggles you have around porn usage.
You may find it useful to find online forums or groups of other people who are also doing their best to reduce their pornography use. There are recovery programmes as well. Simply by Googling, you may find that you can join and find somebody to be your accountability partner. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship as you both support each other on your journey. It is normally suggested to find an accountability partner via a 12 step programme.
I find that often during client hypnotherapy sessions, accountability is very important. Just simply beginning to come to sessions can help to ensure that there’s a degree of accountability. Sessions or regular contact with someone for accountability raises motivation and raises as a whole energy and optimism, that you will indeed overcome this problem
Four. Get clear on why you are watching pornography
This might involve thinking about substitute activities. Masturbation normally culminates in an orgasm. When we have an orgasm dopamine levels or endorphin levels, are all raised. So consider activities that will also make you feel good but in healthy ways. This might be exercise or just taking a nap. Maybe consider speaking to a friend on the phone. These activities will not have that immediate hit that pornography may provide. However over the long-term, they provide a much more dependable and real sense of wellbeing.
Always ask yourself, why do I want to watch pornography right now?
It might simply be that you’re tired or a little fed up. You might be feeling lonely or you might just be feeling down or you might just want to take a break. Whatever the reason is, ensure that you’re looking after that need, that is really motivating your behaviour. Working this out well is an integral part of sessions I run with clients.
So if your real need is to have sleep or a nap because you’re tired, then do that instead.
Five. Look at what, other than porn, might turn you on.
Using pornography is a certain type of stimulation. You may find that you can reconnect with your body and yourself and your sense of stimulation by masturbating, without using pornography. It might be good to try this by just lying down on your own and masturbating. Use your imagination. You may find that it’s in fact a richer experience because you’re drawing on fantasies rather than using visual images.
Six. Change your mindset
Sometimes we think about things in a certain way, and that way of thinking can hold back our progress. For example, you may find it unhelpful to characterise your behaviour as an addiction.
Sometimes when we label something as an addiction, it can be harder to break free from it. Because when we say it’s an addiction, somehow it may feel like it’s something difficult or a big struggle. However, for example, say you rather just characterise your online pornography use as similar to eating junk food. Then the solution may be clearer. Don’t eat it or eat less of it! Treat it just as you would with your diet and food intake.
Also telling yourself that you have to do or not do certain things can also hold you back from progress. You might decide that you have to go cold turkey and not look at pornography ever again. In the beginning, this may be unrealistic.
Rather for now, the aim should be to examine your relationship with masturbation and sex and your sexuality. This can involve actually a wonderful journey to reconsidering how you will get more in touch with real desire and your body. Removing sexual stimulation from images also means you aren’t using what are often unrealistic images and move to natural fantasies and more natural ways that you find that you’re turned on.
Seven. Be okay that you’re simply human.
In other words, nobody’s asking you to be a monk. It’s okay to once in a while to look at pornography, you are normal. It’s normal to have sexual urges. There’s nothing wrong or bad about it. Often religion or religious upbringing, or simply parents who are a little narrow minded or had many taboos, can pass on those thoughts to children. And you can feel that you’re wrong or bad for not just looking at pornography, but having sexual urges at all. It is completely normal.
It’s okay to look at pornography. Most men do. It’s when you feel that your pornography use is controlling you, or that you find that you need to look at pornography more and more in order to get turned on. That’s when you may need to make some changes, address any underlying issues.
Sometimes you might be using pornography because you feel down, you may feel depressed. There may be things in your life that you need to address. You may be bored. So maybe think about hobbies, social activities, or exercise that you can get more involved in. You might find that simply by having a little bit more fun and having a fuller or busier life, that your need for porn or masturbation will decrease. In terms of how to stop watching porn, this is good advice.
Perhaps you’re looking to find a romantic relationship. Sometimes when we’ve given up on looking for a relationship or find that area of our life difficult, we can self-sooth by looking at pornography or masturbation. If you’re looking to have a romantic relationship, but find that difficult, maybe it’s time to seek some help and counselling to really look into the issues holding you back. Once you’re having more of a regular sex life, you may find that pornography becomes less of an issue for you.
Eight. Believe that you can make a change and life will be different.
Most importantly, it’s important to remember that as with any habit, once you get to understand it better and get more optimism and confidence, your life can change. Circumstances will be different. It doesn’t mean that your life will be so much better without pornography, but rather you’ll feel more in control and you’ll feel more yourself.
Part of that will involve getting more in touch with why you wanted to watch pornography in the first place. And some of those things we’ve mentioned in this article. For example, you might have been using it to deal with boredom, depression, or to avoid feeling certain emotions. The belief in yourself and the belief that you will change is very important to have.
I find that for many clients the journey to recovery starts with this work. In particular moving to a place of more resources, more confidence, and often thinking about some goals you wish to achieve. Often once we plan some goals and start working towards them, then the momentum creates those positive chemicals in our brains that we were looking to gain from pornography or masturbation.
If you found any of these tips useful, or you’d like to discuss further about how my London hypnotherapy sessions help people reduce dependency on pornography and masturbation. Get in touch today.
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