The relationship we have with food is one of the most important in our lives. Food fuels us, comforts us, and brings us together. But for many, this relationship is strained, complicated, and even painful. If you struggle with constant food worries, dieting cycles, or feel out of control around meals, you are not alone. In this article, we’ll explore the idea of disordered eating. We’ll look at what it is, how it differs from a clinical eating disorder, and, most importantly, provide helpful, practical steps you can take to move toward a more balanced and peaceful life with food.
What is Disordered Eating?
Disordered eating is a term used to describe a wide range of unhealthy eating behaviours that don’t fit the strict definitions of a clinical eating disorder (like anorexia or bulimia) but still cause distress and harm. Think of it as existing on a spectrum. On one end is a healthy, flexible relationship with food. On the other are severe eating disorders. Disordered eating lies somewhere in the middle. In this article we will talk about disordered eating. As a hypnotherapist I help people manage and overcome disordered eating. For more information about my sessions in London and online, click here.
Disordered eating impacts emotional well-being and even physical health
Disordered eating is a pattern of abnormal eating habits. Often a person just gets used to being very controlled around their eating. Perhaps cutting out food groups or only eating at certain times of day. Disordered eating can also be eating when feeling stressed or bored.
Disordered eating behaviours are usually not constant or severe enough to be diagnosed as an eating disorder and so can hover ‘under the radar’, so to speak. However, they certainly still impact a person’s quality of life, emotional well-being and even physical health.
Signs of Disordered Eating:
Disordered eating behaviours can show up in many ways. You might notice them in yourself or a loved one. Common signs include:
- Chronic Dieting: Constantly starting and stopping new diets. Always feeling like you need to “be good” or “start fresh” tomorrow.
- Extreme Food Rules: Having very strict rules about what you can or cannot eat. For example, cutting out entire food groups (like carbs or sugar) for non-medical reasons.
- Frequent Weight Fluctuations: Your weight often goes up and down due to cycles of restriction followed by overeating.
- Body Image Obsession: Feeling overly concerned with your body shape or weight. Weighing yourself frequently.
- Guilt and Shame: Experiencing strong feelings of guilt, shame, or anxiety after eating certain foods, or after eating a large meal.
- Hiding Food or Meals: Eating in secret or hiding evidence of what you’ve eaten.
- Compensatory Behaviours: Exercising excessively to “make up” for what you ate.
Disordered Eating vs. Eating Disorders
It’s important to understand the difference. Let’s set out how they differ. If you do feel you have an eating disorder, talk to your GP or organisations such as Beat.
- Eating Disorder: This has specific diagnostic criteria and is a serious condition that requires specialized medical and psychological treatment. Examples are Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, and Binge Eating Disorder (BED). These conditions can in fact be life-threatening and involve a deep, clinical level of distress and physical danger.
- Disordered Eating: This is a behavioural pattern. It involves the behaviours mentioned above but may not include the full mental and physical severity required for a formal diagnosis. Think of it as a damaging habit or a collection of unhealthy coping mechanisms centred on food and body. While less severe than an eating disorder, it still needs attention and change. It disrupts daily life, ruins self-esteem and can lead to serious health problems over time.
Both are serious, but recognizing the signs of disordered eating can help you address the problem before it becomes a severe, clinical eating disorder. As mentioned, as hypnotherapist I help many people with disordered eating.
The Root Causes: Why Do We Struggle with Disordered Eating?
Food problems rarely start with the food itself. They are often a sign of deeper issues. For people struggling with overeating or restrictive habits, food is often used to cope with difficult emotions.
Emotional Eating
Many people use food to deal with feelings they don’t want to feel. Let’s look more deeply at a few examples:
- Boredom: Eating to pass the time or fill a void.
- Stress and Anxiety: Using food as a quick, temporary comfort. Eating a tub of ice cream feels good for a moment, masking the underlying stress.
- Sadness or Loneliness: Seeking connection or warmth through food.
Food becomes a quick fix as a distraction from problems or pain. Over time, the brain starts to connect these difficult feelings with the act of eating, creating a powerful, hard-to-break habit.
Diet Culture and Perfectionism
Sadly, we live in a world that constantly tells us we’re not good enough. There is very much a diet culture. Social media and general cultural trends promotes the belief that thinness equals health and happiness. This then pushes constant dieting, making us feel like failures when we inevitably “break” the rules. This also creates a cycle of restriction and overeating.
A major factor in disordered eating is perfectionism. Indeed, many people with disordered eating are perfectionists. They hold themselves to impossible standards. When they “mess up” a diet, they feel like a total failure, leading to a “what the heck” attitude and a binge or period of giving up entirely.
Let’s get something straight. Your struggle with food isn’t a failure of willpower. It’s often a sign that you need better coping skills and a gentler, more trusting relationship with your body.
Three Tips for a Healthier Relationship with Food
Healing disordered eating and your relationship with food is a journey, not a switch you flip. It involves changing habits, thoughts, and your inner dialogue. These three tips can help you start that shift today and are idea I focus on with hypnotherapy clients as well.
Tip 1: Practice Mindful Eating—The “Pause” Button
Most people with disordered eating eat quickly, distractedly, or while feeling stressed. Mindful eating is the opposite. It means paying full, non-judgmental attention to the food you’re eating and the experience of eating. This simple act can break the cycle of overeating.
How to eat more mindfully:
- Stop Distractions: Turn off the TV, put down your phone, and close your laptop.
- Use Your Senses: Before you take a bite, look at your food. Smell it. Notice the colours and textures.
- Chew Slowly: Take a bite and chew until the food is completely mashed. Put your fork down between bites. This gives your body time to register fullness.
- Check In: Halfway through the meal, pause for 30 seconds. Ask yourself: “How full am I? Am I enjoying this? Do I need more to be satisfied, or am I eating just to finish the plate?”
Mindful eating slows you down, helps you taste and enjoy your food, and allows your body’s natural signals of fullness to kick in before you overeat. It shifts eating from a frantic, mindless activity to a peaceful, intentional experience.
Tip 2: Challenge Your Food Rules—Find Flexibility
The stricter your rules are, the more likely you are to break them, feel guilty and then overeat as a reaction. The goal is to move from a rigid mindset to a flexible one. Food neutrality means seeing food as just that—food—without jumping to label it as “good” or “bad.”
How to do it:
- Identify the “Forbidden”: Make a list of foods you constantly restrict or feel immense guilt eating (e.g., bread, cookies, chips).
- Introduce Them Intentionally: Choose one “fear food” and eat a small, planned portion of it. Eat it mindfully (see Tip 1). Do this in a calm, non-stressed setting.
- The “Habituation” Power: When a food is constantly available and not forbidden, its power over you lessens. The binge impulse often comes from the fear of never being allowed to have it again. By allowing yourself to eat it, you teach your brain that it’s just food, and there will always be more. This removes the urgency to overeat it.
- Embrace the 80/20 Rule: Aim for nourishment 80% of the time. Allow for pleasure and flexibility 20% of the time. This is sustainable living, not a diet.
Tip 3: Discover Non-Food Coping Skills
This is a major part of work I do with hypnotherapy clients for disordered eating. If you rely on food to manage stress, boredom, or sadness, it’s time to find new tools for your emotional toolkit. This is where your true power lies. Your goal is to disrupt the cycle of feeling bad, then reaching for food. Only to then feel worse and repeat the whole cycle.
How to do it:
- Ask “HALT“: When you feel the urge to eat when you’re not physically hungry, ask yourself: Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? Identifying the true feeling is the first step to addressing it.
- Create a 15-Minute Rule: When an emotional craving hits, make a deal with yourself: “I will wait 15 minutes before I eat.” During those 15 minutes, do a non-food activity to address the underlying feeling:
If Angry/Stressed: Perhaps go for a brisk walk, do 20 jumping jacks, or even scream into a pillow.
If Lonely: Call a friend, text a family member, or listen to a favourite podcast.
If Bored: Consider reading a book, do a puzzle, or start a small task like folding laundry.
- Use Hypnotherapy Tools: Practice deep breathing exercises, visualization, or simple body scans to ground yourself. Your brain can’t be in a fight-or-flight state (the trigger for stress-eating) if it is focused on slow, deep breathing.
Build New, Healthy Habits
By consistently applying non-food coping skills, you build new, healthy pathways in your brain. You teach yourself that you can handle strong emotions without turning to food for comfort.
Consider Hypnotherapy for Disordered Eating
Reducing disordered eating is a journey of self-discovery and self-compassion. Be patient with yourself. There will be good days and challenging days. A slip-up is not a failure. Rather it is a moment to learn from.
If you recognize these behaviours in yourself, know that change is possible. Consider some sessions with a professional. I use hypnotherapy and other tools to help you look at your relationship with food. Tools such as mindful eating, looking at why you eat as you do and gaining new emotional coping skills. It’s time to leave the diet cycle behind. Your body deserves kindness and you deserve peace of mind too. Click here to find out more about my sessions in London and online.
